Stages
by Lancelot Varianter
Summary: Because all relationships go through stages, and theirs is no different. A collection of oneshots, rated T for later chapters.
1. Rapport

**Because all relationships go through stages, and although the stages vary, their relationship is no different. a running ficlet of sorts.**

Stage 1: Rapport

Isabella could still remember her first day of Kindergarten, that day she met her two best friends. One would later become like her brother, and the other one? Well....

Isabella stood in front of the class with the teacher; she felt nervous and was fidgeting. The teacher, a kindly old lady, noticed this and said, "Don't worry, they won't bite. Except Buford, always stay at least an arm's length away from him,"

Isabella smiled thinking the teacher was attempting a joke.

The teacher looked down at Isabella and said, "That wasn't a joke," Isabella's smiled faded.

Just then, two blurs ran by Isabella and the teacher and busted outside. The teacher shouted after them, "Phineas, Ferb, wait! I haven't dismissed you for recess yet!"

Tow heads poked their through the doorway and stared at the teacher, "Well, we can go, right? Mrs. Craig?" Asked a red-headed boy, Phineas was his name.

Mrs. Craig nodded and said, "Yes, but take Isabella with you, she's new and-" unfortunately, Mrs. Craig did not finish her sentence because Phineas grabbed Isabella's wrist and ran out the door.

Outside, the playground was littered with kids screaming with joy, the sun was shining brightly, and the ground? Well...

"Why is there a huge, gaping hole in the playground?" Isabella asked, because, indeed, there was a huge, gaping hole on the ground.

Phineas answered with glee, "We're digging to China! We started this morning" and with that he went into the hole.

Ferb sighed, "I haven't the heart to tell him we'll hit magma first." Both Ferb and Isabella followed Phineas into wha would be a portal to China or, as Ferb said, to blazing hot magma.

After thirty seconds of digging with shovels, Phineas exclaimed, " We're not getting anywhere with shovels! Ferb, do we have a way to make these shovels more efficient?"

Ferb thought for a second, snapped his fingers and climbed out of the hole.

Phineas stared after Ferb and said, "I guess we do," He turned around and asked Isabella,

"You don't talk much, do you?"

Isabella looked down at the ground and stuttered, "I…Uh...well,"

Phineas chuckled," There's no need to be shy. Can I tell you something? I think you, me and Ferb are going to be great friends,"

Isabella smiled and asked," How do you know that? We haven't even known each other for five minutes,"

Phineas shrugged. At that moment Ferb returned with a brown backpack, "I have what we need,"

Ten minutes later

Phineas, Ferb and Isabella were in the principal's office, the trio was covered in mud and dripping water. The principal stared at them. They stared back.

Finally, the million dollar question was asked, "How did you three manage to break the main water pipe?"

**A/N: I apologize if this seems a little dry. I have in my mind four different stories (all for Phineas and Ferb), and I wanted to get something up before I attempted to write those. Expect more in one to two weeks. I also apologize for not giving Isabella more speaking line, but hey, whatever.**


	2. Lunch

Stage 2: Lunch

Ah, lunchtime. That all-important time between breakfast and dinner. Ah, school. The all-important institution whose mere existence prevents modern society from turning into a dictatorship ran solely by he who has the seashell or conch. Of course, when lunch and school meet what do you get? A bunch of kids eating low grade meat stuffed unceremoniously between two old slices of bread.

A ten-year old Phineas poked his 'hamburger' with a plastic fork, sighed, and leaned back on the uncomfortable plastic chair, " Oh man, I can't believe I forgot my lunch at home!" He turned to his brother who was sitting at his left and asked," Ferb, is the meat in this hamburger, you know, edible?"

Ferb shrugged, reached over to Phineas's hamburger and took the patty out. Ferb, like his brother, poked the patty. It jiggled. Ferb stretched the patty. It became long and then the patty snapped back to its regular form, a not quite oval not quite circle shape. Ferb frowned and performed his last test of the patty. He bounced it of the table. The patty ricocheted of the table and hit all the walls of the cafetaria multiple times.

" I guess not," Phineas simply stated.

Isabella entered the lunchroom with a brown bag, spotted Phineas and Ferb, and promptly proceeded to rush over to them.

Isabella sat down across from Phineas and sweetly asked, " Whatcha doin?"

" Not eating, that's what," Phineas moaned, " And I'm not dumb enough to ask Ferb for some of his lunch, not after last time,"

" What happened last time?" Isabella asked curiously.

As Phineas explained what happened the last time someone messsed with Ferb's lunch, Isabella couldn't help but drift in her thoughts,_' Wow, Phineas is great. He's so cute! Wait, cute? _

_That's not right. He's my best friend! He can't be cute! I shouldn't even be thinking those kind of thoughts. I should be listening to what he's saying. Ah, but I could listen to him talk all day long. Wait, what!? Why am I thinking these thoughts? I really should listen to what Phineas is saying, it's rude not to,' _

As Isabella tried to concentrate on the story of Ferb's jacked lunch, her eyes kept drifting down to Phineas's lips,_ ' I wonder what kissing Phine- NO! No more thinking romantic thoughts about Phineas! Pay attention!,'_

".... An that's what happen the last time someone wanted a bit of Ferb's lunch! I don't have a death wish, so I guess I'll wait until I get home. I'd get in the school kitchen and cook something, but I'm not allowed to. They told methey didn't want a kid putting the lunch ladies out of work. I don't know why, Ferb's a better cook.," Phineas finished, talking mostly to himself on the second part.

Isabella instinctively dug into her brown bag, took out her sandwich and gave it to Phineas.

Phineas looked at the sandwich, and then at Isabella, " No, Isabella I couldn't take your lunch, I mean-"

" No Phineas, you can have it. I had a big breakfa-"

" That may be, but it would be wrong to take-"

Ferb rolled his eyes, took the sandwich, ripped it in half, and gave one half to Phineas and the other to Isabella.

Phineas chuckled," Oh yeah, we could have done that. Thanks Ferb, thank you Isabella. I'm going to go get us some milk," As Phineas got up and left, Isabella stared after him with a forlorn look.

Ferb looked at Isabella and chuckled.

" What? What's so funny, Ferb?" asked Isabella with a quizzical look

" Young love, that's what,"


	3. untimely squirming with Nietzsche

**A/N: I haven't updated in forever. I guess the old saying is true. Anime is cheaper than crack. Far less time consuming too. I don't endorse crack... it's true though.**

Another summer morning. A brilliant blue sky adorned with cotton like clouds was the roof of the day. Birds chirped happily and flew around lazily. The perfect setting for a summer day filled with a cavalcade of fun. Or it would be the perfect setting for a summer day filled with a cavalcade of fun if twelve year old Phineas Flynn would think of what to do. No, instead of thinking of wacky and zany ways to have fun, Phineas checked his watch. Again. For the fifth time since sitting beneath the tree with his brother.

Ferb shot a bored glance towards Phineas and internally sighed. _'Really, he could just call her.'_ . He really didn't mind just sitting under the tree and reading. No, what he did mind was Phineas' constant squirming around and checking his watch every five minutes. Ferb let his eyes return to the current page. _'Whoever is the wisest among you is also a mere conflict and cross between plant and ghost. But do i bid you become ghost or plant? Really, , I prefer to be a ghost. Why? Plants die too easily. Ghosts are already dead. And invisible. And untouchable. Imagine the possibilities. For example the Girl-... Who am I talking to? Perhaps I do need to do a project. I'd rather not have an internal monologue.'_

Before Ferb could continue his internal monologue, he was interrupted by: A sigh, a twitch, and a checking of the watch. All courtesy of Phineas.

Phineas rearranged the position of his body, stopped, and went back to his original posotion. A slight mumble escaped his mouth. He checked his watch again. "Where is she?" Phineas pulled out his cell phone dialed three numbers, stopped, and shoved his phone back in his pocket.

Ferb rolled his eyes, _'Such indecision. Why?' _ and proceeded to dial his own phone.

The phone on the other side rang once. Twice. Three times. The other end picked up. A groggy _'Hello,'_ accompanied by a yawn answered. Ferb, skipping, all pleasantry, merely said, "Get here. Now." and hang up.

Twenty irritating minutes later.

"What'cha doing?" The sweet voice of young Isabella floated across the backyard and, much to Ferb's relief, stopped the squirming of Phineas.

A goofy smile was plastered on the red-head's face. "Sky Polo. See Ferb and I..." and off he went.

A small smile threatened Ferb's usually cool demeanor. _'Well, , It seems you and I must clash wits at a later time. I'm off to create whimsical fun and whatnot... At least Isabella stopped his squirming.'_

**And another exceedingly short piece of... vignettes. I like that word. Vignettes. Reminds me of wine for some odd reason. It's a rather woody sort of word. I would like to thank all the readers who have reviewed. I would also like to thank any and all reviewers. * Hint Hint***


	4. Awkward questions

**I figured I should update...**

Another Summer day finds a small group of kids in the backyard. Most of them were girls, and most of them were paying close attention to Ferb. Or as close attention as they could pay while swooning.

Ferb stood in front of a chalkboard with the diagrams for the engine of an indescribable transportation device. "So as you can see, ladies, the engine has the ability to change the electrons to protons, the protons to electrons, and the neutrons to ultimate-neutrons." He turned his attention to chalkboard and wrote and equation, "If we take Avogadro's number and multiply that by the Mole fraction of Petrol, we'll have a compound, that when ignited, will allow us to go faster than the speed of light. Any questions?" Ferb smirked. He knew exactly what was coming.

The hands of all the girls shot up and the words 'pick me, over here, hey, over here' were heard.

Some feet away from the group, Phineas and Isabella were working on the aforementioned engine, with Phineas on the right and Isabella on the left side. Phineas glanced at the small group of girls surrounding Ferb and sighed. Ever since they had entered middle school, girls would constantly crowd around Ferb and he did nothing to rid himself of the girls. In fact, he seemed to enjoy the attention. Now, every time the brothers did anything, the girls would ask Ferb to explain the plan. In excruciating detail. Phineas sighed, just what exactly did...

"Two sighs in the past thirty seconds? Is the world ending or something?" Isabella asked without looking up from the engine.

"Not that I'm aware of." Phineas returned his attention to the engine and tightened a couple of bolts. Something occurred to Phineas. Perhaps Isabella could enlighten him on the situation. "Isabella?"

Isabella, noticing something off with her friend, shifted her attention from the engine to Phineas, "Is something wrong?"

"Well, no, but I was wondering..." Phineas began rubbing the back of his neck. It was a simple question he wanted to ask, but it was such a weird one. Phineas cleared his throat and and tried to ask again, "Well, why do girls find Ferb so attractive?"

"I..what?", The look on Isabella's face could not be anything else but utter confusion. She briefly wondered what could have prompted the weird question. Could it be that he was... "Phineas are you jealous?"

Phineas blanched and shook his head, "No, jealous of what? I have nothing to be jealous of. If all the girls prefer to pay attention to Ferb, then that's not my business." Phineas crossed his arms and studied the old oak tree with great interest.

Isabella chuckled, "Oh, I think you are jealous."

"Am not." Phineas huffed.

"Methinks the sir doth protest too much."

Phineas rolled his eyes, and with a playful smirk said, "That's not how the quote goes."

Isabella leaned forward on the engine, closing some distance between herself and Phineas, "True. However, you're not a lady and I'm not the one complaining."

Phineas leaned on the engine, closing even more distance between the two, "You still haven't answered my question."

"Care to remind which question that was?" Isabella asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Why are the girls so attracted to Ferb?"

"Ah, yes," Isabella closed her eyes and seemed to concentrate on the question. Finally, she opened her eyes and said, "It's his voice." Isabella stated her answer in a manner that seemed to answer the question of life, the universe, and everything.

Now it was Phineas's turn to look utterly confused, "His voice? What does that have to with anything?"

Isabella nodded, "Yup, it's his voice. It's soothing."

"Soothing? Well, that's interesting." Phineas tapped his fingers on the engine. His voice? That was so weird.

"Well, I really like your voice," Isabella continued, "It's warm and friendly." She flinched at the corny statement she had just said. _"Of all the things I've said..."_

Phineas smiled, "Aw, thanks." Phineas felt a small joy swell inside him. Perhaps he only needed the attention of one girl.

"What are you two conspiring?" Ferb asked from the chalkboard.

Phineas looked at the position he and Isabella were in. With the two of them being so close to each other, it did look like they were planning something,"We, well... um..." How was he supposed to explain what they were just talking about?

Isabella saved him the trouble of the awkward explanation by shouting back, "We were just planning on how to separate you from your harem, obviously."

Ferb and some of the girls chuckled. Ferb responded with 'a good luck with that'.

Phineas was left with another question for Isabella, "What's a harem?"

**And there you have it. Reviews and criticism: Highly appreciated. I also want to thank all of the people who have favorited, alerted, reviewed and read. And since only cats can haz cheezburger and the cake is a lie, my thanks to you is some pie. **


	5. Ancestors

**What? I'm updating this and it has not been nearly seven months? What lunacy is this?**

Gimmelschtump was notorious for its overcast skies, Sunless days, and all-around miserable weather. The redundancy of this statement was not lost on most of Europe. The young Doctor Phineastein, however, walked down the cobblestone streets as if it was a clear summer day. A smile played on his mouth and he walked with an attitude that, quite frankly, fascinated Ferbgor. How could someone be so peppy in such dreary weather?

The young Doctor turned to his friend and with a far too cheerful tone said, "Isn't it a great day? The sun is shining, the sky is clear and the birds are singing." Well, Gimmelschtump's second claim to fame was being a breeding ground for mad scientists.

Ferbgor could only answer with a stare that could be pretty much summed up as 'Why did you drag me out of bed?'

Phineastein shrugged, "Well, we don't want to waste the whole day lounging about, do we?" A small growl was the only response Phineastein received, "Besides, we're running out of some stuff and if we get to the store early, then we won't have to wait in line as much." With that said the young doctor increased his already brisk pace to reach the small shop at the end of the street. Ferbgor followed at a more...lethargic pace. Ferbgor held a sort of bile fascination when it came to the shop, trips to it usually entailed painful flirting and a jarring obliviousness shared between the shopkeeper and his friend.

It was like watching a really bad play, worthy of mockery and snark bait at best, but he just couldn't look away.

Phineastein reached for the doorknob, stopped and ran his fingers through his hair, cleared his throat a before turning to Ferbgor and asking if he looked alright. Ferbgor, with all the passion of someone discussing drywall, responded with a thumbs-up. Phineastein smiled and went through the door.

"Good morning Miss Shapiro!" Phineastein waved cheerfully at the young shopkeeper behind the counter. Ferbgor slightly dipped his head in greeting...

"Doctor Phineastein, Ferbgor. Always a pleasure to have you in my humble shop. What can I do for you?" Miss Shapiro clasped her hands behind her back and smiled politely.

"Well, just being around your lovely presence has already brightened up my day." Painful flirting from Phineastein.

"You're far too kind, Doctor. I want to show you something." And jarring obliviousness from Shapiro. She reached down the counter to pull out a wrench.

"A wrench?" Phineastein was confused. He had plenty of wrenches back home. Granted they all kept breaking...

"The beauty about this wrench is the material it's made of. You see-"

"I'll take it!"

Ferbgor sighed. He sometimes wondered if the Shopkeeper knew of the power she held over Phineastein. Ferbgor doubted it; the Shopkeeper seemed to be confused over the fact that Phineastein accepted to buy something he knew nothing of. It was then and there that Ferbgor decided to never be ruled by his attraction to any female of the species.

Shapiro blinked, "Um, Okay. Anything else I can help you with?" The confused look was replaced with the polite smile.

Phineastein cleared his throat, "Just bread, mint, and formaldehyde. The usual. Oh, and some tomatoes. Constance has been experimenting with some recipes."

Shapiro was expertly bagging the items, "Ah, and the recipes require tomatoes." It was more of an afterthought.

"No, but they do get rid of the aftertaste in a rather effective manner." Ferbgor snarked in a quiet voice.

"Miss Shapiro, I was wondering," Phineastein said in low voice, "Would you indulge me in a date?"

"I'm afraid I can't. My shipment of Date nuts won't arrive until next week. Sorry." Shapiro smiled sheepishly in response to her lack of the product.

Ferbgor groaned. No one could be that oblivious, could they?

(2011)

Ferb sighed. Not even his brother could be that oblivious, could he? In what was an obvious attempt from Isabella to go on a date with Phineas had turned into a group outing including all of the kids from the neighborhood. Ferb could hear the young girl mutter, "One of my ancestors must have screwed up. That can be the only explanation for my bad luck."

**I rather like how this one turned out. A bit choppy here and there, but I think I'm improving. This collection of vignettes is actually something that I'm using to develop my writing style. It's practice before I start writing some other stories I have in mind. And here is where things get embarrassing. I've hit a bit of a writer's block, and I was wondering if anyone had an idea that they would like to see as a vignette. I'll give credit to whoever suggests an idea. So, uh, any takers? Please help this troper to practice.**


	6. Safety Patrol

…_the suspect pushed a sixth grader off his bike and started pedaling towards the public pool with the test answers in his backpack. It was at this point that Monitor Sweetwater, Monitor-_

Isabella stopped typing her report and tilted her chair on the back two legs. How was Gretchen's last name spelled? Stauffenberg? Stauffenburg? It would come to her eventually. Isabella glanced at the clock on the wall in front of her. She growled in frustration. It was seven in the evening on a Friday night and she was stuck in the Safety Patrol Headquarters of Danville High School. Well, it wasn't all that bad. Phineas and Ferb had volunteered to upgrade their computer and were currently working diligently.

Where were Phineas and Ferb? She quickly glanced around the room to find them. There was Phineas still working on the computer, a look of intensity on his face. And a few feet away, there was Ferb... flirting with Gretchen. Again. Isabella narrowed her eyes at the two and sighed. Almost as if feeling the disapproving glance,the two looked at Isabella and went back to work, one with a sheepish smile and the other with a hint of annoyance on his face.

"So Big Sister's jealous?"

"No, I'm not jealous. What would I be jealous of? Adyson, you really need to think before you speak."

Adyson frowned and plopped down on Isabella's desk, "What, I didn't shock you? I come out of nowhere, make a comment and you react as though I've been here the entire time! Talk about disappointing. Perhaps jealous isn't the right word. Maybe over-protective?"

Isabella let her chair rest on all four legs again, "I'm not being over-protective, I'm being the right amount of protective. If Ferb wants to date one of you, then fine. However, I'm not going to let him just toy around with your-"

"Taken." Adyson interrupted.

Isabella glared at her friend, "You could have said something before I went off on my rant, you know. Point is, I'm not going to let him play around with the feelings of my friends. He can do that with anyone else."

"Yeah, you're being really over-protective." Adyson rolled her eyes, "Hey, can I borrow a Twenty?"

"What?"

"I ordered a pizza."

Isabella sighed in annoyance, "And you expect me to pay for the pizza you ordered." This type of thing was always happening!

"I'll finish your report for you." Adyson begged the now typing Isabella. "I'll be your best friend." She was still being ignored by the typist. Well, she had a backup plan, "You know, if you give me the money and I do your report for you, then you can go hang out with Phineas."

"Isabella!" Phineas called from his computer, "The computer is doing something weird."

Isabella got up and walked towards Phineas, "Weird how? Don't touch anything." The last part was directed at Adyson.

Adyson had wicked smile on her face as sh began rifling through Isabella's desk. _'Now, where would that Twenty be?' _

Back at the computer, Phineas was trying to get the old computer to work again, "Well, there's a a code on the screen and-" Phineas stopped talking. Isabella was currently leaning over his shoulders in attempt to get a clearer view of the collection of symbols. It was making him a tad nervous to say the least, "Um, do you want me to get off the chair-"

"You're fine. I just need to..." A glimmer of recognition shone in Isabella's eyes, "I see..." she started typing in a response to the coded message, her arms now encircling Phineas. Phineas wouldn't be so nervous if this was the first time Isabella had gotten this close, but over the past couple of weeks she had gotten rather... touchy as Buford had so eloquently said.

Phineas was starting to think _something_ was up.

"Really Isabella, I can let you work in peace-"

Isabella rested her chin on Phineas's shoulders, "Phineas," she whispered, "Where did you find this file?"

Why was she whispering? And more importantly, why was she still so close to him? Not that he minded. No, he didn't mind how her voice sounded when whispered, or how that delicate lilac scent just hanged around her. What he did mind was how jittery he got whenever she was close. Rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, short breaths, adrenaline rush; as far as he knew these were symptoms of fear, and he wasn't afraid of Isabella. Was he?

"Wh-why?"

"You see, this file has just helped me solved a case I've been struggling on."

"...And the answer was hidden inside a game of solitaire?"

"Yup. Funny how things work out, huh? Nobody here even touches that game." A lot of coughing was heard and a comment along the lines of 'I thought I crashed that computer every time I opened solitaire!' floated around.

Isabella wrapped her arms around Phineas, "Do you know how much sleep I've lost over the past few weeks trying to solve this case? And you come along and practically solve the case. Phineas, sometimes, I could just kiss you." Much snickering was heard and a comment along the lines of 'Sometimes? The way she talks about him I'd have guessed all the time.'

A sheepish smile escaped Phineas, "Uh, okay..."

A sudden knock on the door made Isabella jump.

Adyson sprinted for the door, "That would be the Pizza!"

Isabella chased after her, "Wait! How are you paying for that?"

"I'll pay you back Monday!"

Phineas just continued to stare straight into the computer screen. He was trying to catch his breath, but otherwise he was stiff as a board.

Ferb just shook his head, "Wait, she can tease my brother, but I'm not allowed to even talk to one of you?"

Gretchen nodded, "Looks that way."

"Talk about weird." Ferb snorted.

Gretchen shrugged, "Perhaps. But we're still not as bad as X Middle School's Safety Patrol."

**I wonder... can you have a filler chapter of what is essentially a collection of filler? Although interestingly enough, this piece of filler has given me an idea for a future story. Points to anyone who gets the Shout outs. Also, I think this may be the longest piece I've written.**


	7. Braggarts

Phineas slowly became aware of his surrounding. The smell of disinfectant, the squeaking of shoes, and the rather comfortable bed he was in. He opened his eyes a bit too fast and was rewarded with searing pain.

"Ah, you're awake,"

Phineas opened his eyes, slower this time, and rotated his head towards the source of the voice. Sitting in, what seemed to be a rather uncomfortable, chair, was Ferb. He seemed to have been quietly reading a book before Phineas woke up. Ferb was wearing black pants, a black shirt, and a white vest.

"Hey, Ferb?" Phineas asked, "I've wanted to ask you this for some time."

Ferb payed full attention to his brother, the book now rested on his lap.

"Why do you have such a fancy uniform if all you do is deliver pizzas?" His tone conveyed nothing but pure curiosity, Phineas really wanted to know.

"Glad to see that your beating had no effect on your sense of humor," Ferb snorted and went back to reading his book.

Phineas chuckled and instantly regretted doing so as a sharp pain shot through his abdomen. "What beating?"

Ferb stood up, "The one that landed you in this hospital?" The only response he got was a blink and a blank look. "You don't remember?"

The door to the hospital room squeaked opened and in walked Isabella, wearing the same suit as Ferb. She was battered, had bruises on her face, and seemed a tad angry. She was muttering something in a low voice but stopped when she noticed Phineas was awake. Isabella echoed Ferb's previous statement, "Ah, you're awake,"

Phineas smiled and nodded.

"Don't get too excited," Ferb chuckled.

Isabella sighed, "Ferb, the police wants to talk to you," Ferb nodded and walked out the door, closing it as he went.

Isabella sat down in the chair previously occupied by Ferb. She rested her elbows on her knees and steepled her hands and stared at Phineas. He stared back. The silence was heavy with anger and unspoken questions, interrupted only by the sound of the intercom and the occasional squeaking of shoes.

Phineas broke the silence first, "Um, I'm sorry?"

"What were you thinking?" Isabella snarled, "They could have killed you, you know?"

Phineas smiled, "Well, it's not too bad. I mean, I barely feel any pain," Phineas sat up, "See, I can sit up just fine,"

"Well, you don't feel any pain, you're pumped full of painkillers at the moment. It's amazing you can even speak coherently." Her voice betrayed the weariness and frustration that had accumulated during the day. She and Ferb had stumbled upon a beating with Phineas as the main attraction, they had both gotten into a fight with the delinquents beating up Phineas, and they were almost fired. Again. She really had to admire Ferb, he just took all of those scenarios in stride.

"So are you mad? Because you're grinding your teeth. That usually means you're mad," Phineas had learned, over they years, that Isabella didn't explode when angry. It was more like a pot of water boiling over.

"Mad? Of course I'm mad!" She bolted out of her chair and started pacing the room, in the same manner a caged animal would, "This isn't the first time you've been beaten up, but this is the first time you've landed in the hospital! And yet you're just sitting there, acting like nothing's wrong, acting as though Ferb and I didn't fight a bunch of goons just fifteen minutes ago." She ran her hand through her hair in attempt to calm herself down, "Then they have the audacity to try and pin this on us, saying that we attacked them first, that they're totally innocent! And you should hear them whisper how it doesn't matter what happens, because their parents are just going to bail them out! And their parents are all smug! So, let me ask you again, what were you thinking?"

Well, first time for everything.

Phineas had laid down. The pain was too much. "I can't remember much. There was an old man being robbed and I intervened. One thing led to another and, well, you know.." He just shrugged.

Isabella raised an eyebrow, "Again? Phineas..." She groaned.

"Well, what was I supposed to do? Run away?" Phineas's tone was filled with irritation. This wasn't the first time the two friends had fought about his safety; it probably wouldn't be the last.

"Yes." Her voice was strained. She was trying not to scream.

"I'm not a coward," His voice was soft. He was trying hard not to whisper.

"That doesn't give you the right to act like an idiot,"

"You did,"

"You can't keep getting into fights,"

"You will,"

"You can't keep acting like a hero,"

"And you can?"

"My hypocrisy isn't going to kill me! Your desire to be a hero might!" Isabella was panting, her rage was starting to seep out out of her. She plopped down beside Phineas and rested her hand on his. "Phineas, let me take care of you,"

"I thought you already had your Nightingale Patch?" Phineas smiled.

Isabella sighed, "Not like that. I mean, let me take care of you so that you don't end up in the hospital. Let me take care of you so that you never have to worry about being in this kind of trouble again. Please, just let me-"

"I already told you, I don't need a bodyguard,"

"Then take some lessons,"

"The city council keeps me busy,"

"Then build something,"

"I have. They keep disappearing,"

"Then don't get in fights,"

Phineas sighed; he wasn't going to get anywhere like this. Isabella tensed in a bid to stand up. "Wait, don't go," Isabella stared, "Come on, Isabella. Hospital rooms are boring, so don't go," He threaded his fingers with hers, "Please?"

She nodded and relaxed at his side. The silence was back, but it was a more comfortable one.

"So how did you get that shiner?"

Isabella sighed.

* * *

_Fifteen minutes ago..._

A sleek, black car quietly rumbled through the streets. The driver and passenger were civilly discussing the finer points of music.

_I'm all lost in the supermar-click_.

_A woman came up to me an-click_

_-ket, I can no longer sho-click_

_-d said I'd like to poi-click_

_-p happ-click_

_-son your-click_

_-illy-click_

_-mind-click_

_click_

_click_

_click_

_clic_

_cli_

_cl_

_c_

"Fine, at the next stop, we'll play Rock-Paper-Scissors and whoever wins, plays their CD. Agreed, Ferb?" Isabella asked.

Ferb nodded solemnly. The type of music that was played while delivering pizzas was Serious Business, after all. Indeed, at the next stop a match of epic proportions took place. It ended in a tie; the rest of the time was spent in silence.

Isabella, overcome with boredom, had taken to staring out the window. There was nothing new to see; nothing much had changed in Danville over the years

She felt Ferb thump her shoulder lightly. He jerked his head towards a group of five pushing a sixth into an alley.

"Ferb, the kid they were pushing, that was Phineas,"

Ferb nodded and snapped his cellphone shut, having already called the police.

"We're at Maple and Third, so that puts the cops at about a five-minute drive. Well, we can't just leave him alone. We're outnumbered, the best thing to do would probably be to stall. Any ideas on how to do that, Ferb?"

Ferb nodded.

"That's a good plan," Both pizza deliverers got out of the now parked car and stalked towards the alley.

The group of five was mad. The old man that the red-head had saved had gotten away. How dare he mess with their fun? The group was viciously beating the poor boy as form of retribution.

"If you know what's good for you you'll hand over my friend. Now."

The group turned around to face their challengers. They were not impressed. Standing before them was a girl and a boy. Both obviously still in high school, both obviously outnumbered. One of them sneered, the leader, "Oh, and who do you think you are to make us?"

The girl stood tall, her arms crossed at her chest, "I am. Daughter of this city, I am. Borne of pride and determination, I am. I am she who is connected to everything. I am the one who knows everything that happens in this city. I know your names. I know your past. I know your families. The only reason you still exist in this city is because of my patience and goodwill. That ran out the moment you attacked him. My name is Isabella Garcia-Shapiro. You are now my enemies,"

The young man had his head tilted downwards, he was glaring from underneath his brow. His smirk was most unsettling. "I am. Son of Britain, I am. Bound by honor and justice, I am. I am he who has no knowledge of mercy. I am the one who is filled with righteous fury. I am the one who strikes swiftly. I am the one who shows flashes of bravado in the torrent of destruction. I am the one who heeds the chaos and the drowns it out. I am his older brother. My name is Ferb Fletcher. You are now my targets,"

"Oh? Why don't we test those brags out?" The leader cackled, assured of his victory.

Ferb slid his left foot forward, slid his right foot back, and raised his left fist. Isabella did the opposite, her back now facing against Ferb's.

"Southpaw stance, Isabella?"

"Well," she shrugged, "You're fighting Orthodox stance. I can cover your back easier this way. And I'm not left-handed, so this might be more of a challenge,"

"How arrogant of you." Ferb rolled his eyes.

Isabella chuckled, "Perhaps,"

* * *

"Wow," Phineas whistled, "I didn't know you and Ferb could be such hams,"

Isabella's eyebrow twitched, "That was the plan! We would stall them until the cops arrived. We weren't about to fight that many for a prolonged period of time. And check your definition of ham, we didn't shout once in our whole speech,"

"So that bruise came about because of your arrogance?" Phineas stared at the ceiling. This wasn't the first time his brother or his friend had gotten into fights because of him.

Isabella nudged his shoulder, "Hey, cheer up! Ferb and I deliver pizzas! It's pretty much an occupational hazard,"

"Really? Why?"

Isabella shrugged, "I don't know. Pizza delivery is Serious Business. Your parents should be here in a couple of minutes, they were at Swampton when this happened-"

The door burst opened and in flooded the Flynn-Fletcher family. There was Linda looking rather pale and disheveled and Lawrence who seemed to be sporting a rather interesting shade of green.

"We are not letting Candace drive us anywhere. Ever again," Linda moaned. Her response was a thumbs-up from Lawrence, who was trying really hard to stop the room from spinning.

Isabella leaned down and whispered,"I'll go,"

"See you later?"

Isabella nodded and left the room. Once outside she was almost barreled over by two girls.

One of the girls, Adyson, swung her arm around Isabella's neck, "Hey, we did a little digging around on those guys you went all Southpaw on-"

"We?" the indignant voice of Gretchen cut through the conversation, "I was the one who nearly got my system spiked! You sat around eating chips!"

Adyson shrugged, "It was a team effort. Anyway, as I was saying, those guys? Yeah, they belong to a group called the Praetorians or something like that. Turns out, this isn't the first time they pulled something like this,"

Gretchen pushed up her glasses and they glinted a little. For some reason, Adyson was scared.

"I have all of their files right here. The rap sheets for these guys...you can look over them if you want,"

"So what are we going to do?" Adyson asked, "Are we going to go all Knight Templar? Or are we just going to go Curb-Stomp them?"

Isabella groaned, "Adyson, I have no idea what you're talking about,"

"What she means is, are we going to go the other route? Or should we give them a more physical reminder?"

Isabella shook her head, "No, here's what we're going to do. Call our contacts. Plant the evidence. All the plans we made, put them into motion. Initiate the purge. This isn't the first time it's happened, but it will be the last. We're protecting our city, by any means necessary,"

Isabella would have continued if it wasn't for a voice. A voice that could strike fear into the otherwise fearless leader.

"Isabella!"

Her Mom.

In the next instant, the former Fireside Girls saw their seventeen year old leader dragged out of the hospital by her ear.

"How many more times do I have to come home and hear from the cops that you got into _another _fight?"

"I did it for justice, Mom! For justice!"

Adyson groaned, "Should we just call discontinuity on that last bit?"

Gretchen nodded.

**And there you go. I want to thank the high lord of terra for getting my lazy butt into gear. I'm still uploading this a day or two later than intended, though. The one thing running through my head while writing this? I seriously want some pizza.**


	8. Crying Lighting

A study session. At the library. That's all it was. Just some time spent poring over an old book with Phineas for their English class. Perhaps, in an earlier time, Isabella would have felt a joy of some sort. Butterflies in her stomach. A warmth and a quickening of her own heartbeat, a fantasy of romance and pastel colors.

Of course, that would have been in an earlier time.

Now. She was in the now. Where Phineas' warmest smile was directed at his phone for the moment, where later on that evening it would be directed at another girl. A girl who Phineas was sure he was in love with. A girl who wasn't Isabella.

The phone buzzed for the twenty-fourth time that evening and Phineas quickly read the message and sent back a message. A warm smile and foggy eyes settled on his face and he, for the twenty-third time, returned his attention to the pack of worksheets.

"Number twenty-three right?" Phineas flipped through the book, trying to find the answers.

Isabella nodded, "Right. The symbolism of the cat."

Phineas read the passage with mumbling lips before he closed the small, musty book, "The cat is all about how Zeena is an ever present presence in Ethan's and Mattie's life-"

The phone buzzed again. Twenty-five times.

Isabella tried really hard not to look at Phineas again. Tried really hard to put pencil to paper and write down the answer. Ignore the feeling of bile rising, the roiling of her stomach and the headache and the tunneling vision and the wicked thoughts about a girl she did not really know and the guilt that came with it and the possessive, lustful thoughts...

Isabella stood up and closed the book, "Why don't we work on this later, Phineas?" Picking up her purple jacket and shrugging it on, She walked out of the room at a brisk pace, flipping her phone out of the pocket of her jacket. A group message was sent out to the older members of the Fireside Girls, if anyone could come pick her up and could they please hurry.

Phineas jogged to catch up with the quick girl, "Are you sure? We have to turn it in before winter break and that's in three days."

Isabella pushed the double doors open and stepped out into the cold evening air. Small snowflakes were beginning to fall in the gray twilight, piling on top of the slush blanket that had settled the night before. The clouds were a solid mass of wet concrete in the sky. Isabella's phone buzzed in the pocket of her jacket. Once. Someone had agreed to pick her up and the others did not respond now that the situation was taken care of.

Isabella stopped on the curb of the sidewalk leading into the parking lot of the library. There were only a handful of cars. Nobody wanted to be out in such dreadful weather.

"I'm sure. The absolute worst thing that could happen would be me copying Adyson's answers. She has a knack for all the useless things. Like thematic studies."

Phineas grinned, "And she copies your history homework and you both copy Gretchen's programming work, and then the three of you copy Holly's Trig homework. Is there any work you Fireside Girls don't copy from each other?"

Isabella smiled, her earlier symptoms disappearing, "Ceramics. We just make Milly do all of our work in there. And she, in turn, gets the answers to Civics from Ginger. We work as unit."

Phineas rolled his eyes in a good-natured way and smiled, "My best friend and her Girl Scouts. Master criminals. Do you need a ride? Ferb will be here soon, I'm sure he wouldn't-"

Buzz number twenty-six. Isabella's previous symptoms returned.

Jealousy is an overpowering emotion. It takes over the affected person in a way that overrides common sense, destroys whatever emotional filter is usually in place. A temporary fit of madness, if you will.

At least that what Isabella would tell herself later that night, when she was curled up in her bed trying to forget her actions. But that would be later that night.

In this moment, she grabbed Phineas by the collar of his blue sweater and brought their faces together, separated by mere centimeters. Her conscience kicked in then, reminded her that Phineas was not hers and was with someone else. Later that night, she would both thank and curse her conscience. Thank it for stopping her from making a mistake. Curse it for making a very awkward situation arise.

Thankfully, a car that looked as if though it was only held together by the will of God and duct tape, but mostly duct tape, screamed and puttered down the street only to slide into place in front of Phineas and Isabella, who quickly let go of the redhead and slid over the rusted hood of the car to jump into the front passenger seat. She knew it would be empty.

Isabella always rode shotgun. It was her right as the leader.

She nodded in greeting to the three girls, Adyson, the only person insane, some would say idiotic, to slide into a parking spot in the middle of winter, Gretchen, who looked slightly green shared the backseat with a stack of comic books and a rather blue-tinted Katie.

Adyson leaned out the window and waved quickly to Phineas before peeling out, shouting something which sounded suspiciously like 'Chow Time!'. Phineas hesitantly waved back, trying to process what had just happened. Phineas...girls confused him.

* * *

Isabella rested her head against the cool window of the car and tried to ignore the ridiculous sugary rock song blasting out of the car's radio. Something about not saying they're crazy. Closing her eyes, she tried to calm down her mind.

Katie tapped Adyson's shoulder, "Could you please turn on the heater? It's freezing in here!"

Adyson rolled her eyes, "No way. It's, like, the perfect amount of cool in here. In fact, I bet we can go twenty percent more. Maybe if you didn't wear that Catholic Schoolgirl Outfit and wore decent clothing, you wouldn't be freezing."

Katie blushed, "You know that it's the suggested outfit for school."

Gretchen snorted, "Suggested doesn't mean it's right, no one else wears the 'suggested outfit'. That outfit you so demurely wear has to be one of the most fetishized out there. Adyson should still turn on the heat because it's, in her vernacular, 'cold as balls'."

Adyson slowed down at a red light, tapping her fingers on the wheel, she hummed, "Y'know, Gretch is right."

"About it being cold?" Katie asked with hope in her voice.

Adyson gunned the car through the intersection the moment the light turned green, "What? No! About the outfit. Now that I've thought about it-"

"All of two seconds," snarked Gretchen.

"Now that I've thought about it, you should totally wear that all the time." Adyson shot an, what she thought was, award-winning smile through the rearview mirror at Katie.

"I assume that is why Adyson doesn't need heat," Gretchen massaged her temples. Beside her, Katie was thoroughly intrigued by her hands.

Isabella, coming out of her stupor, quickly turned on the heat and slumped back in her whispered a thanks and Isabella grunted in response. The rest of the ride was heavy with silence. In that moment, Isabella had shown her more angry nature. A nature which had a tendency of saying some rather mean things if handled incorrectly.

So the rest of the ride was done in silence.

* * *

A tray of sandwiches and fries plopped down on the plastic table and the four teenaged girls sat down with it.

"So," Adyson popped a fry into her mouth, "You done emo'ing all over the group?"

Gretchen unwrapped her sandwich, lettuce on a bun, "You have absolutely no tact." She poked the lettuce, it didn't seem fresh.

Katie kicked Adyson lightly under the table. "Gee, Katie, this is not the time to be playing footsi-OW! My shins!"

Katie smiled at Isabella, "What Adyson means is, are you okay? You know we're here for you."

Isabella nodded.

Gretchen re-wrapped the lettuce sandwich, "If you're worried about Phineas, you shouldn't be."

Adyson bit into her sandwich, a triple-decker with cheese, bacon, and chili, "Yeah, she's not a succubi, or anything. We background checked her."

Gretchen interjected, "Morally she checks out. Not even a detention."

"She can also pull off a leotard very we-OW! What did I do?" Adyson winced in pain.

"What do you mean, leotard?" Katie glared at the self-proclaimed ace.

"It was background checking!"

"Overall, this girl, Anna,has no major flaws. No vices. Nothing. I mean, she's also extremely boring. She's not great at anything," Gretchen popped a fry into her mouth, "She just is."

Adyson ignored her shin pain and asked, "Do you want us to do something about her? Three heavy stones will keep it from floating. Weigh it down to the bottom. Food for the fishes. And I know it won't be discovered, because I will be careful. So very careful."

"What if it doesn't rain for days and the river is reduced to its muddy bed?" Asked Gretchen.

"With the corpse exposed I would work in haste and I might bury the bones in a shallow grave." Answered Adyson, with a cadence that suggested she wasn't serious.

"And the rain comes and moves rocks and the stones, washes away all the dirt and the mud flows. Bones are exposed and, well, you know how that goes!" Retorted Gretchen in the same cadence.

Isabella chuckled. She appreciated the attempt at comedy, dark as it was. She would try to enjoy it, because something told her that later that night she wouldn't be up for laughing.

* * *

**Well****, ****here ****is ****my ****once ****a ****year ****update****. ****I ****really ****wanted ****to ****write ****something****, ****and ****it ****came ****out ****angsty ****and ****emolike****. ****I ****am ****so ****obviously ****in ****the ****holiday ****season****. ****That ****last ****part ****about ****the ****corpse ****was ****a ****direct ****ripoff ****from ****Voltaire****'****s ****Ex****-****lover's ****Lover****. ****Go ****hear ****it****. ****Now****.**


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